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This would suggest that not only do most couples see value in combining their romance with friendship, but that those who do go on to form more successful and long-lasting connections. Gary Lewandowski, a professor and chair of psychology at Monmouth University who researches the dynamics of romantic partnerships, explained, “Considering your romantic partner to be your best friend is an important component of quality relationships.In fact, when researchers asked couples who have been married over 15 years why their relationship lasted, the top reason was that their partner is their best friend.” This is a very different attitude than was prevalent 25 years ago.However, a scientific poll of over eight hundred people found that that 83% of American adults currently in a relationship report that they consider their current partner to be their best friend.These numbers were even higher among married couples, at nearly 90%. Your brain chemistry is actually different when you fall in love than all the rest of your life.Dopamine, found in the brains of people who are addicted, is also involved. The level found in lovers is the same as that found in people experiencing obsessive compulsion.

You can—and should—delight in the heart-pounding giddiness of love. But if you want the whole thing to last, then you need friendship, too. Think of your own good friends, the ones who have your back, the ones who are there for you, no matter what.

It can be revived by taking time—regularly—for just the two of you to be romantic.

If that English researcher found that total strangers could be attracted by looking into each other’s eyes and telling personal secrets, surely two good friends who happen to be married or in a relationship can reignite the spark the same way.© Copyright 2014 Good Permission to publish granted by Deb Hirschhorn, Ph D, therapist in Far Rockaway, New York The preceding article was solely written by the author named above.

What’s more, there are ways to resurrect the excitement of falling in love for long-term couples who are true friends.

That life gets in the way in the form of kids, mortgages, work, and in-laws should not dictate leaving the excitement behind.

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