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In a few days, I’m going to Cuba on vacation with a guy I’ve been sleeping with for eight years, but whom I've never once called my boyfriend.

Keep an open mind when you decide to start this friendship, when you are in it and when it is over.

And there are two solutions to this situation: stay alone for a while, on your own, which is relieving and awesome or to get into a special friendship.

It is important not to have previous feelings to that person and that person not to be your best friend. No feelings, no irrational hopes, no strings attached. Drop all the things you do when you are in a relationship and leave the sex. The last important rule is regarding the way this type of friendship is performed.

Boyfriends and girlfriends have come and gone, but my friends with benefits have stood the test of time. That’s longer than I predict my first marriage will last.

And while I can’t imagine being with my Cuba date “for real”—I mean, he’s a low-key homeless anarchist who once took me on date to his Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meeting; there are red flags—I still value our relationship immensely.

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